In Conversation with Josh: Rejection & Feedback
When someone asks, "Okay, I didn’t get the job, but what did you think of me?" they are often met with dead silence. It's like a stand-up comedian performing in front of an audience where the volume is turned down to zero - no body language, no feedback, just nothing. Imagine giving it your all and receiving absolutely no response, almost as if the audience had their eyes closed and ears blocked. That’s the experience for many job seekers, and it's a harsh reality because the recruitment system is often set up in away that gives them no feedback at all.
When candidates are left in this feedback void, it's incredibly demotivating. Many job seekers often feel compelled to find something "wrong" within themselves that they can fix.
This feeling is rooted in a psychological tendency that starts in childhood, where we often believe that if something isn't working out, it must be our fault. This mindset leads people to think, "If I can identify the problem within myself and fix it, then things will go right.”
However, this approach can be counterproductive. The idea that every rejection is a reflection of something wrong with you is often not true. In many cases, there is no specific fault, and it could just be a matter of fit or external circumstances beyond your control.
To manage this, it's important to seek alternative sources of feedback. Surround yourself with a mentor, a therapist, or a support group that can offer constructive criticism—without placating or tearing you down.
Remember, rejection doesn't always mean there's something wrong with you; sometimes, it's just part of the process.
About Josh
Josh’s specialty began in the world of trauma and addiction and has grown to include, as he calls it, “high achievers who are miserable.” He is passionate about working with couples, having trained specifically in EFT.
His writing has been featured in publications such as The Huffington Post and Quartz Magazine, and he is also co-creator and host of the podcast “Session Lessons”; a podcast whose mission is to show how powerful and effective therapy can be.
He is a music junky, a Mets fan, and believes that good therapy can change the world.
Want to have a chat with Josh?
